Trying to Conceive and Losing Yourself: Reclaiming Identity During Fertility Treatments

The fertility journey can gradually take over your world. What starts as a hopeful step toward building a family can quickly become a cycle of appointments, medications, test results, and waiting. Your days begin to revolve around treatment schedules and hormone levels, and the version of yourself that once felt grounded, passionate, or light-hearted may begin to disappear. It’s not just about trying to get pregnant—it’s about trying to hold on to who you are in the process.

This emotional weight is rarely visible, even to those closest to you. You might notice yourself avoiding social events, feeling disconnected from your partner, or losing interest in activities you used to love. The identity you once held—artist, leader, friend, adventurer—can begin to feel overshadowed by the role of “patient.” It’s natural to feel like you're losing your sense of self when everything is focused on one deeply important, but emotionally consuming, goal.

Reclaiming your identity during fertility treatments means intentionally making space for the other parts of you. You are still a whole person—one who deserves joy, creativity, rest, and connection. Tending to your emotional well-being alongside the physical process can help you feel more grounded and resilient. You don’t need to wait until after treatment to rediscover who you are; your identity is still here, even if it feels buried.

Therapist's Tips: To feel more confident and connected to yourself during fertility treatments, try setting small daily rituals that nurture your non-fertility identity—like journaling, creating art, or taking mindful walks. Reconnect with values that matter to you, and make space for activities that reflect those values. Practice self-compassion: remind yourself that your worth isn’t tied to outcomes. Therapy can also help you explore who you are beyond this journey and strengthen the inner voice that may feel lost. You are more than this chapter—you are a whole story.

Free Consultation

Taking the first step toward support can feel daunting, but you don’t have to do it alone. We warmly invite you to reach out for a free initial consultation. It’s a chance to connect, ask questions, and see how we can support you on your journey—no pressure, just a conversation. We’re here to listen.